I recently wrote about my desire for an identical faith in God to be shared with a woman I would have a relationship with in moving ahead in my life. You can read about it here. In building upon that characteristic is one of independence.
For me, a strong faith in the Lord provides confidence and strength in all areas of life. A person is able to move ahead, knowing that what they are doing is blessed by the Lord and supported by Him. That individual isn’t always second guessing him or herself, wondering if what they have done is the right thing. If God’s help is sought at the beginning, then one can move ahead knowing they are doing their very best.
This knowledge provides an independence that is very refreshing and blessed in today’s world. A person who is not looking to others for every answer or direction in life (now this does not say we should not ask for help when needed but we should not be “needy” in how we handle life) is one who is much more enjoyable to be around.
I’m not saying this independence should be carried out in a way that portrays arrogance or superiority but confidence that the situation is under control. There is a difference–a big difference–in my mind.
I have seen cases where individuals are afraid to make decisions without asking for the help of others. They literally are frozen in time until someone tells them what to do. That is not how God made us to be. He gave us a mind and He wants us to use it to our benefit.
The other day, while flipping through channels, I came across an old Dr. Phil episode where I saw just this type of lack of independence being played out. A wife, for a variety of reasons, had stopped making normal decisions within the family and was jeopardizing the relationships between mother and child and wife and husband. She was afraid to do that which was normally expected of her. Counseling was the recommended path back to normalcy but there was also an attempt made to look at what got her off the rails in the first place. It was a lack of confidence in her situation and who she was due to breakdowns in her relationship with those she respected and trusted.
The woman I want to have a relationship with should show independence not as a sign to she is better or different than me but rather as a way to show she is confident and sure of herself. That builds a healthy relationship between us with the Lord leading us. And that’s better for both of us!